Q: Are The Pride™ cats REALLY real cats?
A: YES!!! The Pride cats are all REAL flesh and blood, and fur, cats. Here are their pictures!
Johnny Lance Harry Moby Stevie Julie Baby Jack
Caroline Piranha Sisters Poor Lionel ... and me
Q: Oh come on! Are these stories really true?
A: YES!!! The stories are all absolutely true. I have witnesses.
Q: Is Johnny's voice really that loud?
A: YES!!! Louder! Imagine a siamese cat being catheterized without anaesthesia on a freight train inside a jet at matinee of The Exorcist. That's Johnny. Ask any of my neighbors.
Q: Is Johnny really that crazy?
A: YES!!! He really does need counseling.
Q: Why does Johnny scream like that? Is he in pain?
A: No!!! Johnny is not in pain. Johnny is deaf. He can't hear himself, so he shouts. Don't ask me to explain how he knows he's making a sound at all, being deaf, but he does. AND he knows that making that sound gets your attention, AAAAND, he's learned that the more energy he puts into it, the faster you come running, so he doesn't waste time with different decibels. He just goes to eleven.
Q: Do ALL those cats live together?!
A: No. Some are dearly departed, some live with Aunt Betty. But they're all part of The Pride.
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